Personality Assessor | What Do You Look for in Relationships?
Take the Relationship Personality Profile, our relationship counselling quiz. Discover the point; to take my time in explaining things so they will understand me. People can get close quickly if they ask each other some important questions. to see each other again, according to social psychology researcher Arthur Aron of the Interpersonal Relationships Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. .. It's been amazing to see people's reaction to this quiz. Researcher Arthur Aron developed 36 questions to ask your significant other and to Social psychology researcher Arthur Aron of the Interpersonal Relationships Lab at Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
The Science of Intimacy: Psychology Professor Dan McAdams has studied what it takes to truly know someone. Specifically, where they fall on the Big 5 spectrum: See our overview of the personality traits here. They also get a broader picture of the decisions and attitudes that shape their life. How do you move through these three levels? Level 1 is easy—typical conversation can help you with this.
Level 2 can happen naturally as you live with someone, travel with someone and have shared experiences. But Level 3 only can be done purposefully—with the right questions in a safe space. This brings me to the 36 couple questions. Social psychology researcher Arthur Aron of the Interpersonal Relationships Lab at Stony Brook University in New York developed 36 questions to help people break through each of the intimacy levels.
You can do these with your partner or with friends. I highly recommend them to parents and teens. Vulnerability brings people closer. The point of these questions is to have sustained, escalating and reciprocal self-disclosure. Clearly, people rely on instincts in a variety of situations such as deciding which job to take, which daycare is best, and who you should date.
Trusting your own feelings is sometimes necessary because expert information is hard to access — published research articles are often locked behind paywalls — or written in a way that defies comprehension. And of course, the very nature of science and statistics is to focus on what is most typical in a population, instead of what is best for any individual. In fact, some experts admit to using intuition themselves.
A study revealed that marriage therapists acknowledge using their intuition and consider it a valuable tool in clinical settings. The Hall of Fame is forever — you have to be sure before you celebrate.
Even though James is a statistician, the Keltner List is intentionally nonscientific. A similar process can help you determine whether your current romantic partner belongs in your relationship Hall of Fame. In crafting each question, I consulted the existing research to ground it in the science of what contributes to a healthy relationship. The questions focus on what matters for serious, long-term, committed, sustainable love.
To benefit from this exercise, you need to be honest. Does your partner make you a better personand do you do the same for them?
Are you and your partner both comfortable with sharing feelings, relying on each other, being close, and able to avoid worrying about the other person leaving? When disagreements arise, do you and your partner communicate respectfully and without contempt or negativity?
Do you and your partner share decision-making, power and influence in the relationship? Is your partner your best friendand are you theirs? Do you and your partner have good opinions of each other — without having an overinflated positive view?
36 Deep Questions to Ask Your Significant Other | Science of People
Is your relationship free of red flags like cheating, jealousy and controlling behavior? Do you and your partner share the same values when it comes to politics, religion, the importance of marriage, the desire to have kids or not and how to parent? Are you and your partner willing to sacrifice your own needsdesires and goals for each other without being a doormat? Do you and your partner both have agreeable and emotionally stable personalities? Are you and your partner sexually compatible?