How to fight better in a relationship

how to fight better in a relationship

When it comes to relationships, conflict is inevitable. But it doesn't have to be emotionally distressing or callous. Couples can disagree and, yes. Conflict is inevitable in every relationship. Psychologist Dan Wile says it best in his book After the Honeymoon: “When choosing a long-term. Quarreling with your partner doesn't have to wreck the relationship—in fact, it can “The goal of the fight is to get closer, to understand each other better.

They don't run from fights.

how to fight better in a relationship

Couples in it for the long-haul don't shy away from discussing topics that could just as easily be swept under the rug. I don't want to move to there! They start slow and take turns talking. Arguments generally end the same way they began, said Bonnie Ray Kennan, a marriage and family therapist based in Southern California. Couples who've mastered the art of arguing fairly take things slow, addressing difficult conversations with a soft, reassuring tone and dialing it down whenever things get too emotionally charged.

They don't name call.

All Couples Fight. Here's How Successful Couples Do It Differently. | HuffPost Life

Happy couples in long-term relationships rarely get into knock-down, drag-out fights because they don't lower themselves to school-yard tactics: They know how to cool down. When things do get out of hand, savvy arguers know how to get a grip on their emotions. They value taking a time out, whether that means counting to 10 and taking slow, deep breaths or simply telling their spouse, "Hey, can we revisit this in the morning? When both partners are able to soothe themselves and take breaks, they're usually able to reach a resolution or agree to disagree!

They set ground rules for arguments. It's not that long-time couples have never resorted to low blows or have said something regrettable during an argument.

how to fight better in a relationship

They have in the past -- and then they learned from the mistake. But it is hard to do it well. Why do couples fight? Fighting can seriously suck, but why does it continue to happen?

How to Fight Better & More Successfully in Your Relationship

Is it bad to fight in a relationship? Does fighting frequently suggest incompatibility? You might learn a lot about your partner through how they handle conflict and fights.

But if you fight in the wrong way, then you might be belittling the feelings of another person.

how to fight better in a relationship

Remember those cute emotion characters in Inside Out? You have to acknowledge and accept your emotions, because repressing them will negatively impact your emotional well-being and happiness.

How to Fight Better & More Successfully in Your Relationship | Her Campus

Plus, improving how you fight may help it happen less in the future! Ways to improve and even prevent fights with your SO 1. That sounds pretty good to us! Ways to improve communication: Instead of putting on your fight mode as soon as your SO says something critical, pause and listen closely to what they are saying first.

how to fight better in a relationship

Try to acknowledge what the other person says: This will help both of you understand how you each feel. Check your body language.

how to fight better in a relationship