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That's right, folks — if you want to find "where white people meet," get out from behind that screen and into the world!
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To help you in your search — and with a hat-tip to the timeless blog Stuff White People Like — we provide the free service here of pointing you toward 10 of the likeliest locations to meet a white person in real life.
Juice places It's like juice, but more expensive!
Montessori schools Your kid might potentially have potential, you know. Just what that potential is probably remains unclear. If you ever meet a white child who hasn't been identified as "gifted," that kid's parents will likely tell you it's simply because incompetent teachers, tutors, psychologists, behavioral experts, counselors and therapists haven't been able to identify that child's important talent quite yet. John Mayer concerts Just like that old "Chappelle's Show" bit.
Bean outlets These boots might look tan, but they're actually white as hell. But appearing to have a healthy, hearty appreciation of said natural world is far more important.
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Bean's rugged yet tasteful aesthetic factors in. Lululemon stores Ommm-ver-priced Image: Whole Foods Whole-ier than thou.
And, as we've already learned via juice places, white people and their money are soon parted by massively overpriced natural goods.
The app requires users to have Facebook for verification purposes, so it won't work for those who've rightfully abandoned the platform.
You're disproportionately likely to find people like this on the app. Chappy is free to download, though as their user base grows, so too might potential in-app purchases.
Check it out here. Yes See Details It would be great if someone developed more queer- and trans-specific dating apps.Black People Meet (Parody)
It's also not likely to happen anytime soon, due to the scale of investment required and the audience served. Dating apps need lots and lots of users to be successful, and with Tinder and OkCupid already sort of serving the community, I don't expect new ones to make major inroads anytime soon.
9 alternatives to 'Where White People Meet,' a real dating site in
However, OkCupid was impressively much faster than other apps to expand their orientation and gender identity options. InOkCupid began offering their users more than a dozen different ways to identify.
The app currently offers users 22 different genders and 13 orientations to choose from, and also includes helpful descriptions of each for folks who are unfamiliar with this kind of stuff.